Our impact on relationships.

As human beings we tend to live our life fairly the same,

we were born, then we automatically start growing up

these have a mixture of biological and environmental factors

we are then a part of a household, a family

some broken, some standing

Meanwhile we are being conditioned to believe what we believe in today

and call "our values and beliefs".

Most of us would be surprise to know, that some of theses values and belief we protect so much are not even ours, and if we dig deeper we don't ever agree with some of them!

However because we were educated to believe them and heard this societal story about it many times,

it became norm.

Being a norm does not mean is right.

When we connect with others we are also using a set of skills that we have acquired through our primary and secondary socialization.

That is a mixture of personality, environmental experiences and close family members.

And lets remember we all have created this set of skills differently from one another.

So, when we start a relationship, we start this connection with preconceived ideals and expectations, that should be talked through and not just "let it flow" up to the time of "let's fix it".

We get to a point in a relationship that I call the "hurting each other period", because life happens,

and sometimes couples didn't know themselves enough when they started the relationship,

or they lack communication, or they keep pointing the finger to one another instead of listening.

Remember everything people do and say is a reflection of themselves the same way everything we do is a reflection your ourselves.

Your actions says more about you than the person that you think is push you to act the way you acting.

Why would you give anyone the power to make you feel any type of way?

To make you feel less than you deserve

To hold you and break you in pieces?

To make you scream and shout?

They don't do it because they are mean and cruel

They do it because :

1- is part of nature

2-you allow it

Simple as that.

If he keeps lying to you, abusing you, making you feel unworthy, unloved, sad, inferior or any other negative feeling,

You have a choice.

1- communication is the Key (positive communication)

2- stop blaming and own up ( a problem is never just one person)

3- Listen (people rarely sit to listen they just want to attack, respond, and scream louder.)

4- Someone has to be the bigger person.

5 - Learn to say I am sorry.

Any relationship needs 2 people to hold the cord.

If you are not willing to make it work, then you need to assess how much do you care about your relationship.