Marriage and thoughts... the best marriage and hubby type.

The question that this blog is answering is: "Write a blog about your views on marriage, do you believe in it? How would the best husband look, be or act like?"

..."She doesn't believe in marriage..." he said

as if I had any story apart from the movies where I could believe in a "happy" marriage...

He's own marriage was not what I wanted, by far an example of a respectful and loving environment...

My parents marriage was divided into love and an insane type of love, where until today they can't let each other go, however they have destroyed everything around them in name of that "Bonny and Clyde" type of love...

We see people truly loving each other and not together, others tight to this society role and not in love...

We see people trying hard to "work out" something that cannot be fixed...

Love has not rules,

has not buts...

However people are too afraid just to be.

I see couples that barely speak to each other,

others cannot stop arguing and hurting each other daily with silly comments, then they wonder why it "doesn't work"!

I see the ones trying to fit in an image instead of learning who they are and accepting their partner fully... We were taught to be wives and husband before we learned to be ourselves... we are guided to act like this or like that before we know how to handle ourselves...

And then we wonder:

"How can I be with someone so different from me?"

"Why don't I love them anymore?"

"Better stay here than go out there and maybe find happiness..."

....

We limit ourselves to become, because someone else told us we must do this and that.

Our kids feel everything, what we are doing they will repeat in their own relationships, I rather be happy than faking a relationship for others...

The way my ideal marriage would be, most "normal" people would say I am crazy which doesn't bother me at all... I value Love.

Theres the savage in me, very few met... and I don't expect most to understand my freedom as I am aware most are still walking with their eyes wide shut.

Happiness is simple only we complicate it.

I am Free,

And getting married to belong to someone is not on my list...

I would indeed get married,

when our souls belong,

when we mutually respect each other...

when we deeply love (and when i say love is not accepting being disrespected time and time again because your man is weak... or because is my role as the wife and the mother of his children..." I have known happiness as an individual, therefore a husband would be a BONUS to my happiness.

I walked out on a happy "marriage" due to disrespect, because I value myself enough to put myself first, hence putting my kids, my life and word first.

I want to get "married" to a partnership, where we both grow and help each other grow daily, we lift each other up even when we are hurt and upset. And when we disagree, we make up the same day... not staying over 24h holding on to pride and silly stuff consuming you, then times passes by and you no longer remember exactly what happen, or you went over so much on a simple fact that have turned a dot into a massive snowball...

Now you gotta stay angry as is a matter of honour...!!

Where is the apology?

We are human beings....

YES

we will mess things up at times...duh

I want to loved and want be together for me,

not staying together because we have kids...

I want my man to be my fan...

Not show me around to prove something...

I want to admire him

speak the same language

dance the same tune...

I want him to trust me as hard as I would trust him, no matter how things may seem, I know he got me and trust me.

When I see marriages around, very few call up my attention, people forget to be themselves and often are on a mission to just make their partner happy not matter what, sometimes leaving their true selves behind... which clearly will alway end up in disappointment...

So an ideal marriage, would be a no matter what is it, how is going to be, as long as it is real...Whatever society says, listen to yourself. A feeling cannot be described, the one doesn't have to be this or that, act like this or that...

He has to feel home...

"If you have to leave your bed to talk to your best friend, then you have married the wrong person..." Nadinha

Be with someone you can talk about anything, any time... this is probably the most free you can feel in a relationship, you want to trust each other and still be free to express your emotions without turning into an argument.

You want to be able to maintain your individuality without jeopardiying the trust you have with each other...

You want to work on your relationship daily not only when "we gotta fix something..." because you love each other...

You don't need to play games, because you can be yourself and know you are worthy and loved regardless... no matter what we do it always gets back to us, so you might attract love instead.

The best advise I can give to anyone is: Don't be afraid of happiness, you already have it, you will not find it in anyone else but yourself...

If you want to be happy, remember that you will not heal in the same environment that made you ill.

love and light xx

NR Dias