"Cus my heart breaks a little when I hear your name..." (his voice) I know right?
You said souls mates didn’t you?
didn't we? that was the invisible line between us... the reason why... The one to blame for many sleepless nights
with tears down the eyes... The countless times I heard the word I am sorry
like it was ok. Along with broken promises, lies, excuses... And years went by... Trying to let go Closing the door on you.. on us... Just to see you jump the window to prove I belonged to you...
Like, some kinda game ... and you owned me,
and I allowed that!
I wanted as much as you did. The controlling games disguised as love were real... I believed in you... in us..
I believed in LOVE! The bitter and sweet memories we have created together The plans we have made when we believed we owned the world...
There was nothing impossible...
It was "only one more..." Oh we were soul tied The dreams you filled my head with...
that I grew and protected them highly To then open my eyes in a dark forest with flying bunnies 🐰 Yet, You played the victim When you pitted us against one another You made ‘love’ look like a battle You taught us to fight against each other For you ... While you were watching me burn How did it feel to play those games? To fill our heads with dreams, our lives with lies and our pillows with tears? Those fingers pointed...
directing the blame to me when you was the actor all along with the leading role! Was it fair that my name was the one in their mouths? How many times I begged?? How many times I tried to move on?? Even though most of the times I felt as if my body was breaking slowly... It was like you knew you would sneak back in & turn my life upside down
over and over again... Because “we was real” remember!!?? Over a decade of this back & fourth toxic & unhealthy 'situationship' where you only thought about yourself... not about me, not about her & definitely not about the others... but I loved you oh but what did I knew about self love ? How have I let you use my mistakes to make me feel I was the one to blame!!! How Did I stay in such an unhealthy cycle for so long? Hurting people? How I could see you as the one? How could I believe in you...in us?? I was only a teenager when u caught me...& You were certainly my most beautiful & truthful lie. You were selfish and a coward, because you wanted all but you didn’t have the guts,
I used to tell you this all the time Yeah, but you always took it as a joke... Go back to our last serious conversation That summer in the sofa... I asked you “ if I was your daughter what would you say to her..?” You said “do you love him?”... SELFISH!! SELFISH!! Oh boy I was no longer that girl! And I finally break the chain I finally started Loving myself more And I am no longer bitter I am no longer living in a bubble where pain is the main substance To get me high And I don’t resent you at all...
You didn't know any better,
We did what we had to do to be where we are today.
Nothing is a mistake
Is Maktub... Remember that very last time ? You did not believe I would ever leave... you show me 'the letter you never wrote' and today You reading the 'letter you never thought I would write” NR *written in 2016