As growing up we have been thought many things,
Such as
how we need to be an example to the family
how we must have good grades
be polite to the elders
How a good wife should and shouldn't be
How boys don't cry
a good housewife is meant to be submissive and respectful to her husband...
(regardless of what that means)
Girls were often told to overlook cheating, lies, and abuse because those actions were considered "normal".
Having a "good" marriage meant happiness...
Boys were able to play around because
the house chores in many households were a girls job,
Men were told they were built differently and so
they were above,
stronger
and their only responsibility was putting the money in the table
and to protect the family.
You see,
I believe we have come a long way,
But in all these frames and ways of living that were decided by others,
We were certainly not told how to be happy!
Society tells us happiness comes from the acts we have by following the rules and so happiness comes from someone else.
The TV tells us happiness comes from something that we must have or get.
Education gives us knowledge that leads us to look for happiness in something.
Everywhere we look tell us to look for happiness outside of us
When we should look inside.
We start becoming truly happy
when we no longer require external validation
when we no longer believe that someone or something is a reason for our happiness.
You see,
When we are in a relationship:
Let's be honest,
How many of us have had a heartbreak?
And how many of us really felt unhappy for some (longer) time?
Do you know why?
Because we have placed our hearts into someone else hands and with that, we created expectations that we later demand to be validated and respected.
And due to the reasons above explained (and many others), couples tend to fall in love with each other before they know about themselves,
or while they are still damaged,
or broken
or still trying to find who they are.
and when we hand in our happiness in the hand of someone else,
we are saying
"here take it, I no longer need it."
would you give your phone for someone to look after?
or your money?
or your most precious memories?
Right!
Your happiness depends on you.
You should look after it, water it and flourish it.
Now let's do an exercise:
- write a list of what is the HAPPY version of yourself.
- Write about what you will change to come closer to that version of yourself.
- Commit to achieving 1 goal at a time.
Decide the GOAL, TIME (when/how many times a week) WHEN, HOW.
and for 21 days Every morning when you wake up,
- write down 3 things you are grateful for and your reasons why.
and before you go to bed
- think about 3 things positive that happened on that day.
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