Hey Guys,
Today I will be journaling and reflecting, an amazing practice that I have adapted into my routine, which helped me spiritually and mentally grow in many senses.
I thought it would be nice to jump again into "the vulnerable zone" and chat with you guys about life.
I have had a turbulent childhood I must say,
I grew up rebel and alone (even doe I was surrounded by people)
I was afraid of my own truth,
I was the abandoned child,
The teenage mother,
and throughout my life I tried, failed, stood up,
tried, failed, stood up
and continued,
trying, falling and standing up...
This year was so transformational for me.
I have had this massive breakthrough...
"I ran from my truth..."
Because it would make someone else happier,
It seemed "easier",
People said it was the right thing to do...
I wanted desperately to keep running
until I no longer had to confront it...
And so I did...
But you see,
the Universe won't let you run forever.
I sat and I prayed to GOD, countless times before I pulled a card
"Dear God show me what I need to know"
and the same card
over and over was pulled.
So what was the meaning, why deep down
I was so afraid?
Past experiences?
Familiarity?
Patterns?
and the eternal history of "its not right!"
But then finally I give in and scream
"Ok Right universe I give up running, what now?"
I am crumbled in that same old bubble,
Again,
with a brand new mindset...
I got questions,
I get it,
I am allowing myself to observe,
To feel
To endure
I stopped being resistance and so I am receiving all that I need.
Do I know Everything?
No...
But I am trusting
That everything is well.
The Universe said: "You have chosen fear, choose again, choose LOVE"
why am I afraid?
Journaling reflections of Dinha xx
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