Reflections on: End Of Relationships

Heya all,

Today I thought I would share some reflections of experiences that have taught me a lot, End of relationships!

Relationships are defined by the dictionary as the way in which two or more people or things are connected or the state of being connected.

Let's say that a relationship is an association between people, for example, marriage, friendship, and so on.

Relationships around us are important as it helps us socialize, fit in into a societal image, to keep us safe and so on, when we are not ok we tend to deviate from being around those we love the most, as we feel they can judge us higher or we fear that they do not want us as we are; therefore is easier to walk away.

Being in a relationship that was not built with a strong foundation can be difficult and lead us to feel suffocated and guilty as we often tend to accept the blame as to why the relationship didn't work; we believe that there was always more that we could have done, even when our hearts were broken, the feelings were gone or we have disappeared in our own body...

It is hard to be the one to give that step, the right step to us and others but yet we feel like we are doing such a bad thing, is like torture.

When two people get together, they usually are drawn to each other for love, empathy, connection, the ideal of, and so they build a future based on the idea of a future relationship, often trying to change each other instead of accepting one another for who they truly are (this is love). This is one of the reasons many relationships fail, you end up being a ghost in your own home, feeling like strangers, and you find yourself taking a long time to want to go back home because home no longer feels like home.

Is sad when you arrive here, then you stop and have two options:

(1)Either you continue being the victim or (2)you act towards a better place (whatever that may be), this is where often people get stuck, because they are afraid and so the excuses get in the way.

"My kids" - kids want parents happy and not stuck on an unhealthy relationship where both parents are depressed and not loving each other no more - what are you teaching your children?"

"My family" - your mother, father, and the rest of your family eventually understand and they love you which means no matter what they will stick by you always.

"I cannot afford" - that will get you stuck forever, YOU GOTTA STEP OUT and believe that GOD got you covered always.

"What others going to think" - Who cares?! are they wiping your tears when you are down?, paying your bills? helping you in any way? are you going to be happier if you follow what they are thinking? START LIVING FOR YOURSELF if you really want to be happy.

"I failed..." this was a big one for me, we often will feel like a failure as our brain is conditioned to pay attention to what we do wrong instead of all the things we did right, sometimes the right thing to do are the hardest, but it has to be done.

Those are just some excuses that we often use as jumping out from what we have known is scary, but if we want to change we must do it. No one can tell its heart when its time to go, because the heart has a life of its own.

Another sad thing that I still cannot get my head around is when a relationship ends, and so much drama is involved, two people that once were in love are constantly fighting, can no longer communicate and so everything is so messed up.

Obviously is understandable due to the pressure, experiences, broken promises and dreams, expectations not met such as the "ideal relationship" instead of my real relationship.

Is your breakup a two people's situation to be solved or a family and friends matter or campaign on social media?

Breakups are hard, and should be dealt with it as it is, focusing on both people who started the relationship no?

No matter how long you are with the person, it is never easier, regardless of the reasons, even if the feelings have gone, a breakup is a breakup, some more straight forward than others but they are always difficult.

And I do wonder how couples before this day in age stayed a lifetime together, happy and still loving each other...Amazing!! Isn't this is when you meet your soulmate and those that didn't?

what could have possibly changed in the world? (virtual world? social media? mobile phones? what?) were they unhappy? conformed? - This certainly would be an amazing study.

Wouldnt it is just great that we could sit and chat through what doesn't feel good and accept each other's emotions instead of living so much in ours and then creating so much pain and suffering for ourselves?

Acceptance is hard especially when there was so much expectation on the "idea of", but we cannot control what we feel, and we should always be true to ourselves.

End of relationship CheckList:

Acknowledge - of what we feel, where we are, where we want to be, what needs to change to be where we want to be.

Acceptance - how we feel, how your partner feels (stop the blame game)

Forgiveness - yourself, others and experiences

Choice - will you be the victim of? or you will walk towards something greater?

Due to people living so much in their emotions, these steps can take time to be processed but are needed for healthy healing.

Couples need to be vulnerable for a healthy relationship and this vulnerability usually ends when the problems start and is a block to the communication between both leading to a break in the connection and distancing people from one another as they will feel they are not being understood.

Being understood - one of the important aspects in a relationship (I get you, babe)

As a woman, there is so much I don't want to accept maybe because I have been so used to be so independent, I often though do I scare men with my confidence? or should I maybe show more of my vulnerability?

Is tough!

But deep down I am a romantic soul, I believe in Love and in marrying your partner in crime, someone that instead of owning you due to a ring, he complements your life because you both belong and form a partnership where you are complices, lovers, friends and Loyal to each other.

I wish you learn to love yourself fully, and when that happens you'll see your soulmate walking into your life <3

Reflections of Nadinha xx